~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE WASH RAG published by Women Against Sexual Harassment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Available on-line ASAP at http://www.washrag.org/ along with earlier issues ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Issue 9, Number 1 February, 2001 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Contents ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Internet Harassment Listening To The Other Side SH in the news SH in the region Oprah Tackles abuse Bizarre abuse of women Canadian Remembrance Whistle Blow or No FOX Contributes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ INTERNET HARASSMENT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An anonymous e-mail from a woman in New York claims that she has been being harassed by an employee of CBS in New York, Joe xxxxxx. She had complained to his boss as well as internet service providers. Here is what she has to say: I have been sexually harassed by a man who stalks and sexually harasses women via the internet and from work via phone and computer. His work has been notified on this subject and they have all the logs of him on the computer and the phone records of him making calls. They have done nothing to him. He is a pervert and won’t stop. His internet provider was investigating him. His work just told him to stay away from the equipment. Supposedly, they have a zero tolerance to sexual harassment. All employees had to watch a video and sign a form. This company is CBS in NEW YORK. I have emailed the director of security and this man’s boss but to no avail. He still goes on the computer and stalks women. He has called me over 100 times a night. I can’t change my number due to the fact that I have a terminally ill husband. I have called the phone company and his job. I have tried everything. I also know of several others who have complained but to no avail. I referred her to W.H.O.A., an organization that is trying to deal with internet harassment. I suspect that they were able to help her, as they helped me a lot. I was having weird problems with my computer, and I had decided that I had a Trojan Horse or a Back Orifice on my computer. They suggested that I get a firewall from ZoneAlarm, a company that allows individuals to download a free firewall module. It has been a lifesaver. Since I got it around three weeks ago, I have logged around 30 attempts to access my computer. These may or may not all be hackers, but I know some of them are, as the only explanation I have gotten for the alarms is that some web sites will "ping" you if you have visited them recently to see if you are still there. But most of these have happened when I was trying to get my e-mail and had not been on line, and I only save one day of history. I have had alarms from Spain, China, Germany and Korea as well as two from California, two from Texas, one each from New Jersey and Virginia and a number I couldn’t tell where they came from. I don’t do a lot of searching on the internet, mostly visit the same sites, and I have never gotten these alarms twice from the same company except from my own server, and I have gotten 19 alarms from them, dtgnet. All included "BIOS" in the message, which makes my blood run cold, as if you know anything about BIOS, you know it is the guts of the computer, and fooling with it will cause you major grief. And yes, my system has been infinitely more dependable since I have installed it. Visit W.H.O.A at http://www.haltabuse.org/ whoapr(bleep)haltabuse.org. Zone Alarm available at http://www.zonelabs.com/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Listening To The Other Side ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From time to time, I do get comments from men about sexual harassment, and this, from John Harris, whose wife, Pam, was featured in the last issue. John appears to be one of the good guys. He supported his wife’s decision to confront her former abuser, and is helping her market a book about her abuse as a child. Here is what he has to say: I attended several training sessions through my job that addressed the subject of sexual harassment. Among other things, we were told that simply asking a woman out for a date was sexual harassment! Sexual harassment is a bit like pornography: I know it when I see it but can’t necessarily define it well. Clearly the above definition is going too far. It is natural for heterosexual men to desire the company and intimacy of women, especially attractive women -- hence the word, "attractive":. Further, men are genetically programmed to desire sexual relations with virtually every attractive woman on the planet. They are restrained -- or should be -- by notions of honor, fidelity, etc. There are, of course, dishonorable men who go too far. I’m going to go out on a limb (a bit) and give my own definition, through example, of what I think sexual harassment is, and is not. Simply asking a woman for a date is not sexual harassment. It can become that if one refuses to take "no" for an answer, if one uses the power of a superior position to coerce a woman into doing something against her will or trying to do so. Is expressing genuine admiration for a woman’s beauty sexual harassment? I think it depends on how it’s stated. "My, you have a nice butt (boobs, etc.)" That may be true, but a woman outside of a relationship likely is justified in taking offence. On the other hand, "You look especially pretty today" -- I don’t think so. If a woman told me that I was a handsome man, I’d be on cloud nine. Touching. Men are hardly safe in touching female co-workers or casual acquaintances anywhere anymore. There’s a double standard here. I’ve frequently had women grasp my arm, place their hand or hands on my shoulder, cry on my shoulder, playfully push me or even hit me gently, in fun. There were co-workers, not girlfriends. I never took it as sexual advances or harassment, but God help me if I did it back to them! Clearly, touching a woman on the breast, rear, leg, etc., is not appropriate. Other areas, it can be vague. If you don’t want someone touching you on the arm, shoulder, etc., you ought to try asking him to stop rather than making a federal case out of it. It might be that he intended nothing by it and was unaware that it offended. Men and women, being different, should complement one another, not hate or suspect each other. We seem to be on the verge of gender warfare, and that’s a shame. When sexual harassment has clearly occurred, that’s one thing: My own wife was sexually harassed by a supervisor, and I’d like to kill the SOB. But not every case is clear. Perhaps men and women should lighten up a bit, not take themselves so seriously. We are different, and while that leads to a lot of misunderstanding, it is also what makes it fun. It is encouraging to know that some men have thought about sexual harassment, and to realize that they do understand the problem, but I think that whenever someone in a position of authority asks an employee on a date it is clearly harassment. If the woman turns him down, their relationship is inevitably changed forever. People in positions of authority should never be in relationships with people in lower positions. The situation is always going to be abused by one or the other, and it is disastrous to the moral of other employees. One should change jobs if they want to date. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some of the Sexual Harassment in the News ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOW has taken on sexual harassment in the postal service, claiming that while postal workers compromise a third of the federal workers, they file half the sexual harassment complaints. JAG has had numerous story lines that address sexual harassment, but the one on January 9 addressed it directly. I am impressed by the number of women playing the part of a woman in a responsible position on this series. It is no surprise that Italy’s supreme court has ruled that patting a woman on the bottom is not sexual harassment. Have you been to Italy? Dateline NBC on January 16 featured a story about an officer Wright who pulled a female driver over, handcuffed her, drove her for an hour and then made her take her clothes off in 20 degree weather, left her with her panties and shoes on and forced her to walk home that way. Another woman told the same story. When they got a third complaint, the department finally believed the charges. Dateline found a nation wide pattern of officers sexually harassing women leaving bars. An expert testified that it is not about sex but about power. Isn’t all sexual harassment? On December 7, 48 Hours had a segment about a Colonel in the Army, who was thought to have murdered his wife, an Asian woman. He was a Czechoslovakian immigrant, a decorated hero who escaped from a Nazi Concentration camp. He was found guilty and sentenced to 30 years. The Miles Foundation has come out with a handbook on Intimate Partner Violence Associated with the Military. It gives dependents who are in an abusive relationship information about what to do and how to do it. It sounds very useful. E-mail Milesfnd(bleep)aol.com if you are interested. The Central California Women’s Facility in Chowchilla, CA has been again accussed of abuse of inmates. According to them, since November 8 of 2000, nine women have died at the facility from conditions of medical neglect. Women requiring medical care after lockdown apparently are being ignored. When they complained about this problem, the guards made all the women submit to strip searches and did a major shakedown of the cell when an elderly woman requested medical care after lockdown. The facility apparently has tried to blame the inmates themselves for the deaths, even though this has been disproved. A law in New York City allows the victims of Gender Violence to sue their attackers. This has been legal under federal law, but this the first city in the nation to give sex abuse victims the right to economic redress. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Regional Sexual Harassment Items ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sioux City, Iowa lawyer, Phillip Furlong is accused of making sexual suggestions and threats according to a story on KTIV 10:00 news on December 29th. A Rock Rapids, Iowa woman and her children were kidnapped by an inmate, Matthew Givson, who escaped from the Lyon County Jail. The Iowa Supreme Court is looking at a lawsuit by the woman who contends that the county failed to maintain an adequate facility. A item dated January 7 from The Forum came in an e-mail. It concerns sexual harassment claimed by Jewel Jones-Van Tassel that she had been exposed to "rampant use of expletives, sexually oriented comments and gender discrimination" by Sheriff Harlan Muehler and some of his deputies, and sexual harassment by Commissioner Dave Paulson of Wahpeton, ND. The county and city were ordered to pay $1.2 million. They have accepted and apologized. Bills submitted to the South Dakota state legislature included one to define touching the buttocks as sexual harassment. It was deferred. A bill allowing termination of parental rights adds sexual crimes. A bill defining internet harassment as stalking has passed. The December 22, 2000 Argus Leader had a story about the Iowa State Supreme Court ruling that officials can continue holding the most dangerous sex predators after their prison terms have been served. Under a 1999 law, offenders likely to re-offend can be declared predator and can be continued to be held in a secure facility for an indeterminate period. The same issue had a story about the attack of a 42 year old Sioux Falls man, John Kevin Brown, on a 45 year old woman. He poured ammonia on her head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oprah Winfrey Tackles The Abuse of Women Worldwide ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On December 29, 2000, she featured Jane Fonda and Calista Flockharg in a discussion about the abuse of women internationally and what they are trying to do to change the abuses. On January 18, Madeline Albright was the featured guest, and they discussed her work to help the women of countries like Afghanistan, India, Czechoslovakia, and some African countries as well. In early February, she had a program about V-Day, which was February 10, and she, Jane Fonda and Calista Flockhart were taking part. It was organized by playwright Eve Ensler, and is an attempt to stop violence against women. These programs all gave a lot of links to sites, all of which are available at our web site, and we will include as many as possible on page 6. I have heard some complain that there is plenty of abuse against women in this country, we shouldn’t waste our energy on those foreign countries that are so far away. I disagree. I believe that the world is getting smaller and what happens to women anywhere in the world increasingly effects how women are treated in this country. If men are able to get sex slaves from the Philippines to serve their perverted needs, then the status of women in this country will be lowered. Not only that, but for me to have any effect on the treatment of women in other countries is beyond my wildest dreams. But women like Oprah Winfrey, Madeline Albright, Jane Fonda and Calista Flockhart have such name recognition and prestige, that they can call attention to the problems of those horribly abused women in a way that I never could. I truly believe that their involvement will lead to the improvement of the treatment of women in this country. I just have to add a personal note. The women who have taken on this challenge to improve the status of women in these far-flung countries certainly had no mandate to do this. They are all successful and powerful women in different ways. They could have just sat back and enjoyed the benefits of their own status without giving the suffering of their fellow women any thought. In fact, I doubt that any of them will gain anything by doing so, if anything, they may suffer consequences and they may already have. I just have to say although they have had various levels of admiration from me personally, their willingness to do something in this area has raised my opinion of all of them. My impression of many if not most women with status and wealth has been that they were self-engrossed, self-indulgent and in denial, but these women have brought me a new respect for high achieving women. Maybe they are anticipating being sainted for their efforts. Let me be the first to nominate them. My only regret is that I don’t have the wealth and status to help. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It’s Hard to Believe ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fox Extreme Videos showed a segment about an Egyptian woman accused of adultery by her husband. The trial consisted of her having to lick a pot heated to white hot in a fire. If her tongue had blistered from this, she would have lost her head. Fortunately, she passed the test and ululated instead. It seems bizarre that such a medieval practice still exists. I hope that this is not an indication of justice in Egypt. Worse, a Brazilian tribe has a womanhood ritual which involves female relatives pulling out all of a young woman’s hair by the roots. Consider women in this country. Between experiencing childbirth, trying to keep a husband satisfied and at home, remaining as skinny as twiggy even if you have to starve yourself to death, running a household and raising children, trying to hold down a job without prostituting herself or growing over 40 is pretty stressful. Getting your hair ripped out might be an appropriate way to tell if a young woman is up to it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Canadian Day of Remembrance ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From Womensnews (edited for space): Calgary, Alberta -- at 11: a.m. today, many women in this vast nation will stop a moment, united in their remembrance of the tragedy of 11 years ago, and with a red rose held tightly in their hand, light a single candle. Here, December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. Women and men at universities and in provincial legislatures will observe a minute of silence at 11 a.m. local time. Throughout the day, women’s rights activists will hold candlelight vigils, other ceremonies and workshops all with a single focus: prevention of male violence against women. Eleven years ago, Marc LePine entered a classroom at l’cole Polytechnique de Montreal, shouted "I hate feminists" and massacred 14 young women with a semi-automatic weapon. He then turned the weapon on himself, ending his own life. This horrific mass murder instantly seared itself into public consciousness. It also sparked a long-running public debate that still erupts every anniversary. Especially in the news media, most men dismissed Marc LePine as "an isolated madman." Otherwise, they said, his actions were incomprehensible. Conversely, many women saw a very clear message in the attack. The massacre was no random impulse, but a carefully planned revenge, women came to believe. Wife battering had only just begun to emerge as an issue during the 1980’s. Given the perpetrator’s history as a battered child, the atrocity forced Canadian women to consider the connections between domestic violence and stranger violence. LePine had been rejected by Polytechnique’s engineering school, where 13 of the women were students (the other victim worked as a clerk). A police search of his room yielded a list of 19 prominent Quebec women he also intended to kill. To a number of women, it was obvious that LePine was acting out the violent rage against losing male privilege that other men expressed less overtly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Whistle Blow or No? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A letter to the editors in the Welfare Mothers Voice is as follows in part: A small company who hires impoverished women has a history of sexual harassment that has never been exposed. Daily talk is of a constant sexual nature, unwelcome touches, etc. Some women have relented and become sexual with male co-workers. You might say it’s a possible mutual agreement after much consistent badgering for sexual contact. One female was fired after four months for refusing sex with the owner of the business. They do not fear present laws. Because they hire many mothers and females who are facing tremendous times, they scoff them off with traditional ‘crazy’ labels. Because they ‘know’ them, it is easy for them to further destroy an impoverished mom’s credibility. Some of the men have targeted one mother. They think they have her sexual history from a violent ex-lover. So the male workers stand behind her and fondle their penis’. Each time she turns around they play it off. But she knows they do not come to her work station to loiter for no reason. Those that read this will say the possible choices are to quit, be a whistle blower or fight back. But these men are skilled at choosing very fragile women who desperately need the income. At the time of all the pressure to enter into these acts, the women in 2000 may still feel the same trap despite laws passed that supposedly protect them! Whistle blowers are black listed, retaliated against and even killed. They can be black balled to the point of lifeless when trying to recover. For y’all who have won a sexual harassment case, there are 100 times plus impoverished moms who feel . . . Why tell? This patriarchal system rarely brings justice to sexual harassment targets. Because of this sexual harassment, some women have been pitted against each other. They do not support each other to stop the constant derogatory gestures and comments. Women that have favor with supervisors, support their harassing male coworkers by laughing and saying nothing to the females. Most of the graphic gestures are done behind their [target’s] backs. Other female coworkers can see them, not realizing they could be next for this very illegal, vile behavior. Miss C.A., Cleveland, Ohio ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FOX Contributes a Little Understanding ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last night, because the weather was so bad and I didn’t feel like going to bed, after I had viewed the weather report, I tuned to Mad TV, Fox’s version of SNL. What I saw should have broken me up, instead it amused me mildly, and reminded me of so many similar occurrences. Deja Voux all over again. The scenario was a luncheon date between a boss and his assistant. He was fat, ugly, bad mannered, and pompous, assuming that she was on the make for brownie points; she, undoubtedly anxious to keep her job, kept trying to steer the conversation into less sexually implicit areas. As I said, it should have been funny but it wasn’t. Suddenly, his wife came in and accused him of being unfaithful, and graciously gave in to her competition, telling the assistant that she could have him. In what should have been a hilarious interchange, they argued over who is going to get stuck with him, the Assistant losing, the wife leaving with expectations of hefty alimony payments, the Assistant stuck with someone only an idiot would want. Although I never was in any situation exactly like this, many individual remarks were amazingly similar in one respect or another to comments I had made or heard. I think that most sexual harassment probably boils down to this kind of a predicament: do you get stuck with an ugly, obnoxious pest who controls your paycheck or go looking for a job when you just started this one. It is a lose: lose situation for the hapless victim. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interesting contacts: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some interesting new links Rape Abuse and Incest Network Hotline for counseling 635-B Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, DC 20003 http://www.rainn.org/ 1-800-656-HOPE rainnmail(bleep)aol.com MAITI NEPAL www.maitinepal.org P.O. Box 9599, Gaushala, Kathmandu, Nepal Tel: (977-1) 494816/492904 Fax: (977-1) 492055/ 481838 email: maiti(bleep)wlink.com.np | maiti(bleep)ccsl.com.np The Heifer Project www.heifer.org (800) 489-5575 P.O. Box 8058, Little Rock, AR/USA 72203 International Organization for Migration For more information on trafficking of women for the sex trade call 1-202-862-1826, ext. 228 http://www.iom.int / International Justice Mission The International Justice Mission works to rescue girls from forced prostitution--working with indigenous government officials and even raiding brothels. www.ijm.org (888) 456-4499 Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan http://www.rawa.org/ rawa(bleep)rawa.org Women for Women International http://www.womenforwomen.org/ general(bleep)womenforwomen.org Equality Now http://www.equalitynow.com/ Info(bleep)equalitynow.org Welfare Mother’s Voice 2711 W Michigan, Milwaukee, WI 53208 (414) 342-6662 Fax 342-MOMS http://www.execptc.com/~wmvoice MaryLisbeth(bleep)aol.com is looking for women in New York to interview about their sexual harassment experiences for a one woman show about sexual harassment. More links at http://www.washrag.org/ WE’RE ON THE WEB http://www.washrag.org/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This on-line version of THE WASHRAG is being sent to you free. A print version can be obtained by subscribing. In the US, send $10.00 to Women Against Sexual Harassment, P. O. Box 164, Canton, SD 57013-0164. Outside the US, send $20.00 to join. For a sample issue, send a #10 sized SASE. For a Publisher98 print module, e-mail tesseract(bleep)poetic.com E-mail comments can be sent to tesseract(bleep)poetic.com. If you know of anyone you think might be interested, just send us their e-mail address and we will put them on our e-mail mailing list. If you do not wish to receive further copies of this newsletter, indicate your preference to tesseract(bleep)poetic.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ copyright 2001 Tesseract Publications, P. O. Box 164 Canton, SD 57013-0164 (605) 987-5070.