The Wash Rag Issue 5.2 May, 1997 MILITARY AFFAIRS LOOKING BEHIND THE FACADE For the past months, we have been barraged by daily accounts of the harassment experienced by the students at Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland and at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. The Army did respond appropriately by finding Delmar Simpson guilty on 47 of 48 counts and by sentencing him to a stiff prison sentence. But in the process of the playing out of this scenario, we heard the installation called a sexual free-for-all for years, an installation out of control. It was even implied that the reason the Army was so hard on Simpson was because it did not want to address the issue of consentual sex between commanders and subordinants, a clear violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. It has been previously said, and I agree with this statement, that conditions are just as bad in the civilian sector as they are in the military. What makes the military so much more critical, is that a woman working for a civilian company may pick up and leave any time she wishes, while a woman in the Army cannot. Leaving the Army under less than honorable conditions is a death-knell for any soldier’s career. As one woman said when asked why she had not reported Simpson at the time of her rape, she was afraid to because he was so well thought of. I suppose that every woman thinks she is the only one to be treated that way, and as long as the perpetrator is able to keep up a facade of respectability, he can continue his abuse. Newsweek Magazine, in its May 12 issue, discussed the matter of the court martial of Lt. Kelly Flinn, the Air Force’s first B-52 pilot. Since the B-52 can carry the atom bomb, her situation is especially significant. I was puzzled by her situation. Having been both a military person myself and a dependent, I am only too familiar with the amount of adultery around military installations. When my ex-husband was on the Chapel Council, I recall some of the Chaplain’s wives talking about matters their husbands were involved in, and one was a sailor who had both his wife and his mother-in-law pregnant at the same time. He was being counseled by the chaplain at the time. I doubt that he was booted out of the Navy. From the conversations I heard from the wives, some of the matters they became privy to were so awful as to bring to mind the image of the priest flying from the confessional on fire after hearing the witch confess in Spiegel das Kätchen. The complaint from the Air Force is not that she had an affair with a civilian married to another airman, but that she lied about it and tried to cover it up. Just hold on here a minute. Going back to Tailhook, it seems to me that no less than an Admiral and some top Navy officials were allowed to resign with full pensions after similar behavior. The Air Force is claiming that it is necessary for it to punish her for lying and trying to cover up the adultery. At the time those Navy officials were allowed to keep their benefits, I complained that this was too lenient, but if it was not too lenient for the Admirals and naval undersecretaries, then it is not too lenient for Kelly Flinn, either, and she should at least be able to keep her benefits. But the real tragedy in this whole matter is that the man involved, Marc Zeigo, was hardly worth the loss. He apparently lied not only to Kelly but also to his wife, and they are both probably well rid of him. That Kelly, after two warnings, was still willing to risk an incomparable career for a few stolen moments with what was apparently no more than a gigolo looking for a better meal ticket is incomprehensible. My own theory is that if Kelly had not been long ahead of that moment considered ripe for easy termination, she would never have been allowed to get into the position she got into. I have too often seen what were basically dipsticks get privileges and benefits that really intelligent, capable women could not get. I felt at the time that they were chosen because their character was such that the powers that be knew they could someday get them out of the way if they got too powerful. In my opinion, that’s just the way the system works. AT THE CITADEL A recent Turning Point discussed the four women who had entered the Citadel last fall, and how they each had fared. Because my notes on this report seem to have vanished, I am going by memory, and because this was on in the past few days, I feel that is probably fairly good. It was an especially interesting report and interviewed many of the individuals involved, including those involved in the hazing incident. It appears that the hazing itself was against the Citadel’s policies and that those involved were severely punished, including the cadet who was in charge of that company. It is not surprising that the two women were traumatized beyond their ability to recover and return to classes. One of their brother’s, a senior at the Citadel, also left the school. Sad as it seems, some have to be sacrificed for the common good, and it seems to me that the two young women who left fit that description. Although all of the women had trouble adjusting to the life style at the Citadel, the hazing made it impossible for them to continue, while the two who escaped any such violent encounters, were able to finish the year and do so with honor, one of them finishing at the head of her class. She will be one of the administrators in next year’s class. The proof being in the pudding, it was said that next year 27 women have been accepted into the Citadel. It was especially touching to see the segments where the class made their final trials and were finally accepted by the other students as being worthy and were allowed to find out the names of the other students. The tears in their eyes left no doubt that this was a meaningful moment in their lives. IN COURT JUDGES UNDER FIRE Former New York Supreme Court Chief Justice, Sal Watler, who was found guilty of stalking his former mistress, Joy Silverman,a New York Socialite, has gotten out of jail, He was interviewed on Dateline on April 1, and what an April Fool’s joke he was. Apparently unrepentant, he only whined that his treatment was too severe, and he never once seemed to comprehend the misery that he had inflicted on his victim. What is scary is that if he had only picked on secretaries and clerks instead of a woman who was an acquaintance of the head of the FBI,William Sessions, he would still be out there victimizing women at his will, and as was mentioned on Dateline, he might have ended up on the US Supreme Court, just like one other sexual harasser who was more careful in picking his victims. He blamed his problems on mental illness and prescription drugs. He says that he was a manic depressive and that he always was but that he was under control until 1990 when he broke up with his mistress because of guilt feelings about the affair. Instead of going to a psychiatrist, he says he medicated himself. He thought that if he got Joy Silverman back, that would solve his problems. He says that the reason he stalked her was because he thought that if he frightened her enough, she would come to him for help. In prison, he was found to be mentally ill and got psychiatric treatment. He was suicidal after going into solitary confinement. In prison he was assaulted and afterwards was stabbed. He says that mandatory sentences are absurd and complained that the guards browbeat the inmates and don’t show them any respect. Coming from him, that is nothing short of amusing. He now counsels men accused of sex crimes. One fears he will only counsel them how to get away with them without being caught. A 20/20 program on May 23 explored the matter of the Dyersburg, Tennessee Judge, David Lanier, who had been on the bench for 8 years and was former Mayor of Dyersburg. Sandy Sanders said she was assaulted three times by him when she worked for him. Patty Wallace worked for another judge, and when she was temporarily at open court with Judge Lanier, he fondled her (apparently under his desk) while she was reading some legal orders for him. Ruby Sykes said he displayed his penis to her when she came to see him about a child custody matter. Since his brother was the District Attorney for Dyersburg, anyone who wanted to complain about Judge Lanier would have to complain to his brother. Vivian Forsyth went to see the judge for a job interview and the Judge held her down and forced her to perform oral sex. He laughed at her involuntary expressions of revulsion. He would not have been found out but the FBI went to investigate rumors of inappropriate behavior. He was charged with using his position to deprive the women of their rights (freedom from rape). He was convicted of some charges and got a 25 year sentence. But he was let out of prison by the 6th Court of Appeals and is now free. They joked about the charges against the Judge. The case went before the US Supreme Court and they sided with the women by stating their rights were violated, but sent the matter back to the 6th Circuit Court for review. Lanier himself says that the women were forced to lie by the FBI. Some people in Dyersburg still support him. He even says that his political enemies paid the women to testify against him. The women said that was absurd, that nobody would want to admit to the humiliating treatment they were forced to endure, and I agree with them whole-heartedly. I suspect that there are even more women who could testify to the same treatment, but could not bring themselves to the public humiliation that would entail. SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN ENTERTAINMENT POTPOURRI: IN THE MEDIA Bob Guccioni, the editor of Spin Magazine was accused of sexual harassment by his young female employees. In a jury trial, he was found guilty of sexual discrimination. Stacy Bonner was a former employee who described the Spin office as a Bosnian rape camp. She was asked by two editors to find interns that were “hot.” She said she felt like a pimp. She got $10,000 in back pay and $90,000 in compensatory damages. Two women claimed that they were fired from the TV show, Nash Bridges, after they refused the advances of actor Don Johnson according to an April 14 Argus Leader article. Anatonia Napoli and Kiel Murray accused Johnson of fondling and improper touching, a total of 12 incidents. Johnson in turn sued both women accusing them of defamation, invasion of privacy, and emotional distress. He claims that they tried to extort $1.5 million dollars in exchange for dropping their suit. I believe that some might call that an attempt to reach an out-of-court settlement. A March 13 Newsweek article described the claim that the Sultan of Brunei kidnapped a former Miss USA, Shannon Marketic, for sex games. She was invited to Brunei to do promotional work for the sultan, but ended up at a series of wild parties at which she claimed she was forced to perform “physically and morally repulsive acts.” Shannon claims that she often is asked to open car-dealerships or do other ribbon cuttings. But she says that the night she and her entourage arrived in Brunei, they were drugged and when she woke up, her clothes were disheveled. They were tested for sexually transmitted diseases and advised that if they were told they were going to tea or that they should not wear makeup, that they would be expected to perform sexual relations with someone. She claims they were held for 32 days before they were allowed to leave. While I sympathize with her, and I suppose that she needed the money that she was promised, I find it hard to believe that she expected to be treated with respect in a Moslem country. Perhaps she is naive, but as a beauty pageant winner, she makes a living selling her body, which some people, including myself, regard as only a half step above prostitution. The one bright spot in the media recently was a drama, The Absolute Truth on CBS on April 30. In it Jane Seymour explored how the sexual harassment issue is being exploited by politicians, the media, and even the victims. I apologize, but I confess that Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, was being shown on NBC at the same time, so I only caught the ending, but I needed a good laugh and hope I can be forgiven for having enjoyed it quite a lot. Jane Seymour portrayed a TV reporter who was following the sexual harassment complaint and resignation of a politician’s aide. In the end, she is betrayed by the woman, one of her own co-workers, and it seemed even by herself, as she tried to be a conscientious journalist. SMITH BARNEY GROSS MISCONDUCT 20/20 on April 4 explored charges that the investment firm of Smith-Barney employees in investment houses around the country were involved in sexually harassing female employees. Twenty-five female employees have joined in the largest sexual harassment suit against any investment company. The charges include hostile work environment, insults and humiliations, the blacklisting of women who quit because of harassment, and that complaints left the harassers in their position. The managers were unsympathetic. Most of them were men. Smith Barney’s employment agreement forces women to give up their legal rights and agree to arbitration in case of a dispute. The victims charged that Smith Barney had a “nuts or sluts” strategy for women who made sexual harassment complaints. They were forced to talk to psychiatrists who tried to find things to let them brand the complainants as one or the other so the arbitration could have that conclusion as well. One woman got around the arbitration by joining other women in a class action suit, which was not addressed in the employment agreement. Smith Barney kept claiming that the incidents were isolated, but when word of the suit reached California, they could no longer claim that as many other women joined the suit. One boss was characterized as undressing down to his genitals at his desk every day at 12:45 . The woman who reported this individual said that she felt she had to do whatever was necessary to succeed. One woman was trapped alone in an office with a male employee. She had a female boss who patronized her. The man still works for Smith Barney, who says they are trying to improve their handling of sexual harassment. NOW calls Smith Barney “merchants of shame.” More than 100 other women want to join the suit. The women say that their treatment at other investment companies was similar and they want to address it not only at Smith Barney, but at all Wall Street Companies. To The Contrary on April 12 reported that Major General Claudia Kennedy has been nominated to be a three star General in the Army. The South Dakota State Legislature has appropriated $10,000.00 to the Women In Military Service Memorial at the entrance to Arlington National Cemetery. The Memorial will be dedicated in October of 1997. A snippet from Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler: “Our time’s fear of Chauvinism is the sign of its impotence.” That sure puts the Chauvinism label where it belongs. INTRODUCTION THE NATURE OF HARASSMENT In recent weeks, I’ve been thinking more and more about the manual for victims of sexual harassment that I have planned for several years. Very few people seem to have found ways to deal with harassment effectively, and to be honest, it has been very difficult for me as well. I have decided to write as much of it as I can, put it into issues of the Wash Rag as I write it, and let the readers comment if they have any opinions about what I am putting into print. Then, at some point, I will collect the materials I have written, edit them with whatever additions or criticisms I have gotten, and publish the manual. So, here goes. People (and I include men as well as women) are harassed because they are not doing what the harasser wants them to do. It is just as simple as that. Harassment is a means of control. It has as its end manipulating you. This may mean the harasser wants to have sex with you, or he (she) wants to buy your house for next to nothing or wants your job or wants to win a contest you are expected to win or give a speech you have been asked to give . . . the possibilities are endless. But never forget that when you are being harassed, it is because you are not doing what someone wants you to do. The seeds of harassment lie in Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, where he speaks of terrorism being used to eliminate opposition to a political leader. Harassment is terrorism on an individual scale. “These tactics [terrorism] are based on an exact calculation of all human weaknesses; their result must lead to success with almost mathematical certainty.” Interestingly, he based his conclusion on observing the Social Democrat’s (his political opposition) operations and how they were controlling the German public. And that is the reason that I feel that fighting fire with fire is no solution at all. In Germany, it led to the holocaust. Whenever you give in to harassment, you are encouraging the harasser. If you quit your job when he wants the promotion you are slated to get, he will get it. I don’t say that you should stay in your position just to prevent this person from getting your promotion, I just think that before you quit, you should understand what you are losing and what he is gaining. I think you should at least try to determine, if you can, who is behind the harassment. In the case of a woman victim, the harassment may be by company executives trying to maintain the glass ceiling at any cost and I’ve worked for companies where they literally shot themselves in the foot if not the head to avoid a female executive. In some other incidents, I believe that the harassment was not intended to get rid of me, but to make it look like I was too incompetent to hold down an administrative position, all the while they were pushing a totally incompetent male for that position. In truth, I believe that the executives wanted me to continue to do all of the work, but to let the village idiot run things. You should also be aware that giving in feeds the harasser’s ego and encourages him to continue this kind of behavior against others. If you quit that job, then in five years, ten years, you may be putting a friend or relative into a position of being one of his victims. But if you are able to survive, get the promotion and execute the position in a professional manner, it is a blow to his ego not to mention makes you a role model to others faced with harassment, and it is in this spirit that this book is being written: to give the best information available in dealing with harassment so that you may become a survivor rather than a victim. Something to remember when you are being harassed is that they aren’t doing it because you are poorly qualified or incapable. They are doing it because you are the best qualified and most capable person and they have no other way of controlling you. There is no other candidate for the position that has any skill or qualification even in the same category as you. They really have no alternative unless they want to work for you. They have probably already tried to do everything else, and have failed. The harasser is a cornered animal and is capable of the most heinous acts to achieve his (her) ends. Never say or think that people won’t do something because they are too “good.” Maybe some people are too kind-hearted to use dirty tricks or chemicals to get rid of a competitor, but my experience is that most will do whatever it takes to get what they want and this includes attacks on your health, family, pets, good name, friends, people who provide support for you like plumbers, electricians, mechanics, medical professionals, etc. There is simply no limit to their capacity to do evil to destroy you. And I just want to tell you that there is no rush like knowing someone has been harassing you and that you have been able to put a stop to it, not by being worse than he/she is and devising an even more diabolical scheme and causing more chaos than he/she, but by uncovering their manipulations to public scrutiny and alerting other innocent victims (and there always are some) to their skulduggery. That is what I believe in the vernacular is called “a kick in the pants.” It will put you on Cloud 9. It will give you a feeling of power and control that will keep you going through months and years of “downers.” You literally never lose the elation that comes from finding a single way to outwit and defuse a harasser. Never give up. Never let them think that you will give up. Never stop trying to find ways of getting around their manipulations. Be wary of advice, because it may come from the harasser himself via a well-meaning friend or relative. If it doesn’t make sense to you, don’t use it. If you have always been a follower, you will have to become an independent thinker in order to survive. Harassers will always be able to subdue individuals incapable of independent thought and action. This is because they are so adept at using other people. Sexual harassment is not for wimps. It takes a strong, heroic person to deal with a harasser. Weaklings cave in, they do the harasser’s bidding whether it is providing sex or doing work so an imbecile can hold down a job as your supervisor or giving up family and friends in order to give him full attention. But whatever you do, and in the end, it is your decision to either give up or fight the harassment, your life is going to change and it may never be the same again. If you decide to give in, don’t waste your time reading further, because it would be a waste of time. Fighting harassment takes concentration and wit. It will demand all of your faculties, possibly for the rest of your life. The WASH RAG is published by Women Against Sexual Harassment, P. O. Box 164, Canton, South Dakota 57013-0164. ISSN 1068-2449. Subscription price is $10.00 a year. Copyright 1997 Tesseract Publications.